Waiting for Japan

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

when in doubt, do housework

cuads-kun,

It’s 3am and I’d just finished chowing down some impromptu spaghetti I made with some ripening tomatoes in the ref. I was watching “Ghost” on cable TV when the hunger occurred, and after the ending credits I troop to the kitchen to cook. My kitchen is squeaky-clean (I’ll tell you why later), and at these early hours the faucet works—sa umaga kasi, di tumutulo ang tubig, kadalasan.

Am very careful to keep the kitchen clean at all times, guarding against oil spatters and vegetable parings—perfect rat magnets—the rodents will not only scavenge, but also leave droppings(hateful, hateful things). Despite the cleanliness, I saw a medium-sized one dart away the moment I entered. He’ll meet his end in a few weeks. My officemate’s cat just gave birth yesterday and she promised me one of the offspring. I still miss Ivana though I feel it’s about time I moved on and I think I am ready for another cat. How can you ever get over the first one, really?

* * *

Last week was pretty busy. I still hadn’t gotten my bearings from being stranded for four days in Itbayat (the small planes we take to go there have very limited seating capacity—8 seats—and flights are limited too), the northernmost inhabited island in the Philippines when I had to take the early trip to Sabtang Island last Thursday. After I came back Friday, I was officially tired, and a bit sick, and to top that, a bit seasick, too.

I’ve always told you how I play my happy game while I live here, like focusing on the wonderful things like being free enough to wake up early in the morning to cook pasta. Or the fact that I’m right here, doing a job I really like, seeing new places and meeting new people. It’s a necessary game to play since it wouldn’t do me any good to remind myself of the comforts I don’t have here.

At the end of the week, the happy game didn’t work. I was pretty tired, a bit sick, and fresh out of money. And I missed everyone a lot, especially you. Ma called me on Friday, and while she was talking on the other side, I had to sneak out of the office so nobody would see me weeping because I missed the sound of my mother’s voice.

I’ve always told you how living and working here in Batanes is a bit existentialist in nature. I’m not talking about lacking faith in God (exagg naman nun!) but the fact that here, I obviously have to do things on my own. Am sure everyone who’s lived alone had gone through this. Keeping a house clean, doing laundry, going to work on time, cooking. Without the luxury of a landline phone, I even have to talk to myself to keep up the conversational skills (I used to talk to my cat), and sort the clutter in my head on my own after a long day. Most of the time, I enjoy the licenses this set-up allows, like walks very late at night or drinking straight from the pitcher when I’m too lazy to fetch a glass and wash that afterwards.

I guess the freedom works the other way, too. There’s no one to take care of you when you get sick, or talk to you after a bad day. Or have a meal you didn’t prepare yourself. I miss the long conversations I have with you, which keeps me sane—you’re my shrink remember? You make sense out of most things that confuse me. I miss Gail, and talking about the books we read, comparing notes on our post-grad lives and discussions on philosophy. These days I wish I’d been abIe to go out more on insane adventures with Gregg. I miss my cranky lola and the secret (and unverified) knowledge that I am the favourite among the grandchildren. I miss my crazy little sister, who probably has a lot of stories of her own in freshman college. I miss sneaking to my mom’s bed late at night when I wake from a bad dream, or get wakened by the routine hug-checks she gives her children every morning. I can’t believe I’m surviving these months without a single hug from you. I miss holding your hand, exploring beautiful nooks and cracks in the otherwise corrupt city. I miss everyone.

Saturday had me stuck in bed all day, alternately staring at the ceiling or some B-movie on cable, negative thoughts pinning me down like screws that tightened themselves whenever I tried to make sense of why I’m here and what had I gotten myself into. Add to that, a lot of self-doubt in how I’m performing in my job, and whether or not my life is going the somewhere at all. Answers leading to the same frustrating questions, which marks the beginning of that futile black hole of thinking that you and I both despise. That day I skipped two meals and let the laundry go unwashed.

Come Sunday, I passed by Auntie Let’s house which is two streets away from mine. She offered me breakfast which I didn’t refuse (whenever I’m invited to eat I always reply with a hesitant “yes, but no” or “no, but yes” answer just to be polite, which they always take as a ‘yes’ anyway). I like Auntie Let. She is among the motherly-est of my aunties here (and my favorite), who scans my clothes periodically to check for rips or missing buttons (she sewed my clothes the a few weeks ago—after which she gained my undying loyalty). She laughs very loud and sometimes she will just disappear to smoke (she is by the way, a Department of Health rep here). During trips we always fight over the coffee creamer. Her daughter and son are both in Manila, one in college and another in law school. She packed me some vegetables on my way out,

a) broccoli (remember the one you gave me na hindi namin naluto anyway?)
b) a head of cabbage
c) carrots

Pang chopsuey na. I felt a lot better by the time I got home, I started to clean, which, as you know is therapy for me.

I like cleaning. Polishing floors, rearranging my shelves and furniture, re-washing my dishes and kitchen utensils, soaping up my kitchen table and stove, then rinsing and drying them to a nice squeaky polish. Doing Laundry. You can never go wrong with housework because the process is so simple, and the outputs so visible. You can spend an entire day in front of the computer and never get anything done, or be satisfied with what you’d accomplished for that matter. Housework is fun. Refrigerator lang yata ang hindi ko nalinis. While finishing up with all the cleaning I suddenly regretted the Saturday I wasted just moping—I could’ve done so much cleaning then.

I guess, I could think and mope all I want but the reality is, nothing will change. My work will still be here, and everyone will still be far away and be missed, and the laundry will continue piling up. The only thing I can change is how I respond to things. It’s an easy-for-you-to-say thing, but when you’re doing housework it’s a very simple concept to grasp, really.

Right now I’m working on my something-for-you, a pretty grand project (you’ll see). So when is graduation? And what are your plans for medschool, are you really going for Ateneo? Mahn, I can’t believe it’s been a year since I graduated. Woy, kwentuhan mo ako ha? Tawagan kita when my next paycheck comes (tomorrow!).

Thanks for still doing the missed call whenever you get home everyday. It is always good to know you got home safe. And somehow I feel there is still someone cheering me on, so I feel a little bit of pressure to save the world, albeit alone. Can’t wait to get that cat though, hihi.

Mark

Monday, March 13, 2006

TV and shark and pizza

02.19.06

dear cuads,

I’m currently watching this show “Everyday People”. It’s about this small diner that’s soon going to be closed because of a real-estate boom in the area. The film takes a look into the lives that are going to be affected by this—and there’s so many different perspectives that’s being explored. A lot of the issues go into race and economic issues, about changes happening in a downtown area.

There’s a single mom trying to find a partner in life, a struggling poet, the manager who is making a decision between laying off people and losing in the long run in the business, a college student in a run-down neighbourhood. So many lives, then all of them coming together, Ang sarap niya panoorin.

Point is, I can’t get my eyes off the TV and I can’t do my backlog work. So I’m writing you instead.

I was wakened by Gary and Ed yesterday, a particularly sucky weekend, basta yamot ako nung buong linggong yun. We were going to hike up to Tukon, to do our photography homework, which was on landscape photography. I was grateful for a chance to get out of the house, although I didn’t exactly come up with nice landscape shots—I guess that is my weakness. I put a lot of focus on people in my shots, and would rather go into detail than take a picture of a swath of pastureland dotted by grazing cows. And Margarita was saying something about a photographer’s disposition having a great effect in his output. At first I felt really uninspired, then later in the day my mood started to pick up.

Especially when I saw my sharks (haha, guess what that reminds me of?!). I saw a pair of little sharks hanging from some hooks. The shone gold in the four o’clock sun against the blue blanket of the sea. And their dorsal fins have these black tips that made for interesting contrasts in the composition.

Ed had to go ahead and tend to his family’s pasture, which left me and Gary walking home, talking about photography, and philosophy, and how TV can become such a liability because of all the commercials selling you things you can’t really get in Batanes.

Right now, this ad line won’t leave my brain:

I just crave for pizza pizza PIZZA.

Stupid TV, haha.

Mark

Friday, March 10, 2006

That usual valentines post

02.14.06

Cuads-kun,

It’s 12:30 am. I’ve got an oil burner, one of those things where you place a small lighted candle underneath a dish with water and fragrant oil. With all but one window closed, the smell of lemongrass fills the room, and it is a bit warmer for a typically cold and windy post-midnight February.

Am going to be up till later, finishing a long overdue report. It’s good that I’ll be spending the next couple of hours listening to recordings of lectures and discussions; I could really use the company.

I’ve got a lot of good news! We’ve just printed the newsletter I worked on, and we’re ready to release it next week. The KsK office is already utilizing the passbook I designed, which should cut costs for them, since it’s pretty efficient (sarap magbuhat ng bangko mehn).

Lately, most of the work I’ve been doing has been rather tedious, not because of the detail going into the design, but more because I have to keep in mind that our resources are pretty tight. I used to have a lot of leeway in terms of budget, but now it’s all narrow spaces and extra careful planning, now that things with our funding agency have been rather fuzzy. Then again, I’ve always been good at scrimping and pinching (I enjoy it a lot too. Alam kong pareho tayong kuripot, hehe). And this new setup had given the NGO a lot of focus in operations.

I got my salary awhile ago, which means I’ve got a little bit more than P20 on me now. Finally, I’d been able to buy my current necessities

a) A bar of soap (Johnson’s baby bath soap)
b) Cooking oil (1L)

I also threw in some

c) Coconut milk (gata)

as I could use an upgrade from the staple ginisang kalabasa to kalabasang may gata (which I will cook after I finish going through my recordings). Am planning to do pasta again soon, I’ve still got some red wine in the ref, and I miss my tomato sauce. I heard Batanes has wild basil around the place, and maybe I could hunt for some during the weekend.

Gary and I are sort of in the same boat. Both our lives in Manila are sort of on hold, at di lilipas anong isang araw na wala kaming hirit tungkol sa Manila, at sa pagbalik doon. Last week, we received some supplies from the main office in Manila, and, after opening a package, he hands it to me,

“Mark, dali. Amoy Manila.”

“Ayoko sa Manila. Daming gastos,” I reply, sniffing the package anyway (amoy Manila nga).

There was a pause.

“Kahit na,” sabi ni Gary.

“Oo nga,” sagot ko. Kahit na maingay, mausok at maraming gastos, di ko makalimutan ang Manila. Don’t get me wrong, I love it here. But sometimes I can’t help but wonder what my life is like if I’m back there and not doing what I’m doing here at the tip of the Philippine map. What I’m missing and how things will turn out when I get back and release that gigantic PAUSE button of Mark’s Life In Manila.

Yesterday I saw Gary composing an email for whom I assume to the girl he was seeing back in Manila. Because of the whole Batanes setup, his stance on the concept of a lovelife is pretty much illustrated with this amusing exchange he told us about.

Person A: “Kumusta na lovelife mo?”
Person B: “Tangina mo rin.”

It’s always tempting to go mainstream and denounce valentines as a by-product of pop culture, an orchestrated, overly-saturated lovey-dovey event that that raises chocolate and teddy bear and flower statistics which, obviously would be the last thing I’d want to participate in.

But then, I can’t. Today, I’d rather be in Manila with you rather than sniff lemongrass in a chilly house, documenting best practices for public health on a laptop. I wish I could be more honest with you and tell you things you already know, which I know you’d rather I keep to myself.

Psst, may sikreto ako sayo: mas masarap ka mahalin kaysa sa Pilipinas.

Mark

bcuz of you and beer

02.12.06

dear Cuads,

Mehhhhn! How has it come to this? It’s 7:15pm and I’m currently chopping my next batch of squash. Alam ko na kung malaman mo kung ano ang masusi kong pinapanood ko ngayon ay

a) titili ka dahil alam kong Star Circle Quest fan ka
b) pagtatawanan mo ako sa sukdulang kabaduyan

Pinapanood ko ngayon yung “bcuz of u.” Noong una yung excuse ko ay dahil walang ibang magandang palabas at “nais kong tangkilikin ang pelikulang Pilipino.” Tapos nalaman kong malala na ako nang malungkot ako nung ibenta ni Hero Angeles yung Volkswagen niya para makauwi si Sandara Park sa Korea. Okey pala si Sandara pag binigyan mo ng matinong script.

Anak ng pating. Whattapen to meeeeeh?! Buti na lang at pangalawang kwento na, yung kay Kristine (mukha ngang pinaayos niya yung ilong niya) at Diether. Back to cooking.

Ayan, final four na ng Starstruck!

* * *

It’s 10pm and I’ve just finished watching one of your favourite movies: 50 First Dates. Isho nice! I guess I can add that to my growing list of movies that remind me of you! I just ate my squash (it’s pretty good tonight), and it’s raining very hard outside (another thing that we talk about a lot). I caught that first smell of earth rising from the ground.

Yesterday was pista day at Kayhuvokan, which brought me to 4 houses. Had a sore stomach due to excessive food intake. And just when I was about to breathe again after a long walk, which speeds up the digestive process a bit, I chance upon another house and that next meal of death and destruction.

I still have trouble figuring out the dynamics behind all the drinking that goes on in this place. Well, at least with the ones who are generally in my age group. A lot of them want you to instinctively grab that amber shot of Red Horse placed before you. I know the reasons for indulging in this process isn’t because of the flavour of beer—liquor is after all, a lubricant for social interaction. I just don’t get why they have to drink all the time, and make a big deal when you say no when you don’t feel like it. Drinking beer while the sun is up results to me being (forgive the taglish) yamot; the feeling is akin to waking up in the morning with sore eyes, or feeling traces of dried up soap on your skin after a hurried bath. Obviously I don’t like it. Do YOU ever drink in the morning?!

Mark

Saturday, February 11, 2006

Happy Weekend!

dear Cuads-kun,

Am so sorry I haven't been abe to text you for the past couple of days. The reason behind this is embarrassing. It is for this reason, hinding hindi ako maaaring maging Finance Secretary ng Pilipinas. What I have here is a bit of erm... financial mismanagement.

Habang sinusulat ko ito, ang tanging nilalaman ng wallet ko ay, bibigyan kita ng clue: kulay ponkan na papel, at may nakapaskil na mukha ng Presidente ng Komonwelt.

Strangely enough, the depletion of my current cash hasn't whittled down my sense of security. In fact, awhile ago I even had the impunity to buy myself a 10-piece pack of sampaloc which cost me a pricey Php 12.00. The craving to eat something sweet-sour was so strong, I couldn't resist the urge to jump on my bike come lunchtime and comb Abad Street for them sampaloc. (If i eat a piece a day, it will last me until Thursday. I could use those for motivation these days that I feel I'm not doing enough work. In any case Miyerkules pala ang akinse na kaya makakabili pa ako ng mas maraming sampaloc by then. Para akong naglilihi. Sana hindi ako buntis.)

I will be fine until payday though, don't worry. I still have 3/4 of squash to cook, and my swordfish stock is still as sharp as ever. Other than food, I don't have much overhead worries here, which makes my work in Batanes a great place for savings (when the next paycheck comes, that is). My shoes and my bike is all I need to get me to the places I need to go, which aren't far away in the first place. As long as my bike doesn't clamor for more repairs I'm okay. It's actually the bike's fault that I'm a 20-peso bill away from broke. Anyway, bottom line is: I'm fine.

Teka, punta muna akong misa (our choir sings every Tuesdays and Thursdays during 6:30pm mass). I always offer my masses for you mehn. Antayin mo ako, I’ll be back!
* * *

It’s 10:00 and I’m back! After mass I went home to get a couple of stuff when I turned on the TV. Guess what was on? I give you clue: GAAAAAAAANDAAAAAAAAAAALFFFFFF!!!

Return of the King.

Ikaw ba yung nagsabi na naiyak ka nung pinagpugay ng buong Gondor ang apat na hobbit? Hahaha, wala lang, nung sinabi mo yun natuwa ako sayo. You know what came after LOTR 3? Before Sunset. I realize I have this whole set of movies that remind me of you. I thought it was really nice that we watched Harry Potter 3 together last week. Well, sort of together. Woy, I propose another non-negotiable (parang Japan): kailangan manood tayo ng unabridged LOTR Trilogy. I heard the theatre release of LOTR removed chunks from the directors cut. Although nakakapagod din panoorin si Frodo maglakbay papuntang Mt. Doom. Okay, I will stop this thread now. Baka pakantahin mo pa ako eh.


* * *

Taliwas sa iyong utos ay nag-uuwi ako ng trabaho sa linggong ito. Ang dami ko kasing backlog (from last year pa!) at plano kong magka-zero backlog before the weekend comes around. I realize I better get around to using the weekends to tour Batanes and finally get some experience as your tour guide when you come here after graduation (you are, aren’t you?).

Anyway, I had a great weekend! Saturday was a pretty restful day, as I spent the whole morning flipping channels on TV. After lunch, I spent three hours fiddling with my bike. Apparently, the two sides of the v-brake at the rear of the bike weren’t evenly set (the spring of the left prong was broken). Which means the right one is scraping on the rims of my wheels which,

a) makes it hard to pedal since parang naka-kalahating preno lagi
b) practically destroys the rim by wearing out the metal

Armed with my trusty Allen wrench set and much patience, I was able to figure things out. This mechanical sortie did not leave me unscathed though, resulting to two ugly scars, one on my knee and another on my forefinger. I won’t go into details how I got them (since it involves a lot of stupidity). Pero bigyan kitang clue:

a) Mark very pleased with accomplishment on repaired bike.
b) He kept turning the rear wheel by rotating the pedal.
c) Bike wheel turning very fast. Has hypnotic effect.
d) Human skin very soft against fast-turning bike tires (which tend to be abrasive, by the way).

* * *

After a testosterone-laden-activity like bike repairs, it was only fitting that I took on lighter, more domestic concerns. Dropping the wrench set and picking up two Ariel (with scent of Downy) sachets, I get to work wrestling with some monster laundry. It was pretty major since I had leftover laundry from manila, and old sheets and blankets waiting for me in Batanes. Again, the iPod helped a lot (salamat JJ!), as well as the comforting thought of clothes hung dry, and fluttering in the breeze. Bedsheets with the scent of Downy.

My mother taught me how, just last year. Scrubbing clothes, rinsing off the detergent, and hanging them dry, I can’t help but be submerged in the process. Isang paglubog ng nagkakaisang karanasan ng mga naglalaba.

The women in the area are friendlier to me when they see me scrubbing away. The woman living next door whom I’ve never spoken to, starts telling me about her son Richard, while peering at me from the other side of the fence. Ate Bing and her mother-in-law smile approvingly, starting a conversation about wind being better than sun in the drying process (the sun has a bleaching, burning effect on cloth).

Instantly, I feel the initiation into a private society with a secret handshake done with palms and fingers softened by detergent. I now understand why laundry must be done with the right side out while washing, then turned inside out when hung on the clotheslines. The real purpose of handkerchiefs and why mothers frown on children who blow their noses on them. How the colors that look nice when worn together don’t necessarily mix well in the wash. In the middle of these thoughts I take a jab at laundry haiku:

drink beer to drown pain
use Zonrox to wash a stain
scrub rinse scrub scrub rinse


Terrible.

* * *

Come Sunday, Gary and I become impromptu drivers for a pair of visitors who just flew in, and will be toured in the island. Sunday is my lethargic sleep-day, and at first I had my apprehensions. Then I realize that most of my stay in Batanes has been lived within a line segment, where point A is the office, and point B at home. I haven’t even toured the entire island, much less seen the main sights.

Margarita is a Filipina born in Chicago. She speaks a bit of Tagalog (Gary: “Hala, Amerikano. Mauubusan na naman ako ng Ingles dito”). She’s here with her husband (whose name I forget), a half-Chinese, half-Canadian guy whose looks could actually pass for Filipino. He also looks like a whiter version of Benjie Paras, hence their stories of people tailing them in malls back in Manila. Which made me:

a) Laugh. They’re fun people.
b) Miss the malls back in Manila.

Margarita, under a Fullbright grant, will be here for six weeks to work on a project involving Ivatan culture, particularly vernacular architecture and indigenous art. I heard her plan was to conduct a photography workshop (which Gary and I look forward to), with the outputs going to the project. This also means free rolls of film to burn, which I expect that the grant will be subsidizing. Lovely.

First thing she asks me was whether I was an artist living in Batanes. It must’ve been the long hair (have you cut yours yet?). My first impulse was to answer: “Isn’t everyone?” kaso baka maubusan ako ng Ingles, haha.

Of course, we drove up to Tukon (which practically means “hill” in Ivatan) for a short visit to the Congresswoman. Dina Abad had these gold earrings that were priceless not because of their composition, but because it was crafted by an Ivatan goldsmith. Sad thing is, the skill had died with the artists. Even the ancient skill of cogon roofing is dying out with the coming zinc roofings, tiles and concrete; most of the people who still do roofings are aged 40 upwards, which means the process of passing down the knowledge has slowed down. Margarita hopes to find solutions for this under her project, which made me instantly like her. She also looks a bit like my sister in Boston (hello ate).

Another group joined us in Tukon: a gaggle of sosyalan-tita-types-who-make-beso. Cuads, even you would rather stick to the American visitors and with their American upringing and accent rather than the Titas, whom Gary and I made fun of and decided not to mingle with.

Riot siguro kung kasama kitang narinig to: one tita was pointing out a tethered pig to another tita. “Look what they did to the pig. They made butas in the tenga and made it tali to a tree.” Comments like these made great entertainment during the long ride.

(Later on, I really wondered why people looped their ropes into holes made in pig ears. Gary points out the practical side of this: “Mark, kung tinalian ka sa tenga, ano mararamdaman mo kung sinubukan mong tumakas?”)

Nakisabit na rin ako sa tour. It was my first time to tour the island using the interior road, which leads to what they call the Marlboro Country: with endless hills rolling green with grass. I saw the other lighthouse, finally. We climbed cliffs where you can see both the South China Sea and the Pacific Ocean with the 360 degree view. There was the LORAN Station, an abandoned American base, with its empty windows and dilapidated walls. I saw the walls of rock with gigantic layers carved into it by centuries of wind erosion.

I hope I can show you all these, when you come here.

* * *

Hey, I received your news. I hope you’re okay. Are you?

I remember when I first lost my job as a copywriter. Remember that? Anyway I wouldn’t go into the details of that, baka mawala yung testosterone ponts ko, haha. Point is: andun ka sa tabi ko, which really helped. (Uy salamat uli dun ha.)

Now, you tell me your news, and I couldn’t even text back. It was the least I could do. I wish I could do something a little bit more, and not just be that friend who is really far away.

I hope you’re okay, Cuads-kun.

*hug*

See you in Japan, okay?

Mark

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Utak Bisikleta

dear Cuads,

Happy February! Happy Wednesday!

It’s almost a week now that I’m back in Batanes, and so far it has gone quite well. Yesterday there was a sunny interval in the otherwise cold-and-rainy weather here, but today it has gone back to a nice chill that is normal in Batanes from January to March. This also means that I will encounter a bit of difficulty with my laundry, which is starting to pile up once again. No biggie, though.

The transition from city back to rural life isn’t that bad. I’ve got your (Boom na Boom) speakers connected to my sister’s ipod and got cable TV installed during the weekend so stare contests with the ceiling are now a rare thing. I’ve got a shelf full of books, too.

I’ve recently redecorated, I hope you get to see it! I found some extra comforters and mats I spread on the floor whenever I watch TV (the universal remote control I bought in Cubao wasn’t as universal as I thought so I have to sit near the TV to switch channels) or work (which rarely happens because the TV is on haha). I partitioned my closet and clothes drawers behind my dividers (para hindi na ako masilipan ng sinasabi ng mga tao ritong kapitbahay kong bading), ending up with a simple set-up with well utilized floorspace.

I’ve easily built my routine around this redecoration. Every morning I take my vitamins after my bath, just before I put on deodorant. (Somehow something tells me the details surrounding my taking of vitamins was a bit too excessive). Fact remains: I take my vitamins and you shouldn’t worry about that.

I’ve also this nifty electric kettle that boils water in minutes, so you won’t have to worry about amoebiasis, either.

This week I bought myself a whole head of cabbage. I’ve been having sautéed cabbage (translation: ginisang repolyo) for the past few days. The rationale behind this is that I don’t want too many options bothering me. At least when I arrive at the kitchen, I automatically know what to cook. Next viand I’m cooking after that would be squash, then bitter gourd (amplalaya).

Awhile ago when I drove to the farthest town in the island, I discovered this nice swordfish variety (hahay) that’s pretty cheap and tasty. Di siya malansa, at pwedeng isigang. Most importantly, din a siya kailangang linisin. Basta pritusin mo lang at solb ka na. Ayan, may protina na ang buhay ko.

During the long drive I mapped out my planned bike trek across the four towns in the island. I’ve many many friends in every town (mostly health workers) so I have people to run to in case my bike breaks down (which is very unlikely dahil malupet ang bisikleta ko) or when I go hungry.

Still talking about the bike (dahil utak bike ako lately), I haven’t gotten a name for her yet. As my proxy girlfriend, the bike was initially high maintenance as I had to have a couple of parts repaired. Mainly:

a) front tire vulcanized
b) rear v-brake adjusted
c) broken bike link re-set with a chain lock

Soon I will have to buy new brake pads for the v-brake. The first impulse of my friends here when they first see the bike in its 3-front-7-rear-equals-21-combination-gearshifts is to make me promise to sell the bike to them when I leave Batanes come December (when my contract ends). She really is a beauty, and pretty fast, too. Yesterday during the sunny spell I made a quick round of Basco and it was nice.

I did look out of place though when I was having it fixed at a motor shop. Most of the vehicles here in Batanes are motorcycles, minicabs and trucks so it was weird to have a bicycle fixed there. It also showed how much of an idiot I was when it came to simple bike repairs.

Remember that time when were eating Japanese food at the Kostka extension? We were talking about how sad it was that paper could never replace the efficiency of plastic, because we noticed our food was soaking through the paper box containers. I had a similar thought, watching the mechanics fix all those machines at the repair shop. I don’t think we can live without oil, either. The thought of all those bearings and gears screeching to a stop came to mind when I tried to conceive a world without oil. This thread could go on to war, and pollution, or even Bush’s SONA on oil, but I’d rather not think about those things. Some things are too sad to think about alone, and are best thought up when I’m with you.

Anyway, I’m off home now. I’ve a last meal of cabbage to consume before I move on to sauteed squash with fish bits. Am very excited to experiment on my fish. And my box of tikoy which I have no idea how to cook.

See you in Japan,

Mark

p.s. Pagdasal mo naman na sana huwag na ako makanuod ng nakakatakot na palabas tulad ng Patayin Sa Sindak Si Barbara sa kalagitnaan ng gabi, hindi kasi ako makatulog eh.

At nakakatakot si Antoinette Taus pag may hawak na kutsilyo.

Monday, October 31, 2005

And the dead rise again...

I should start off by greeting you a Happy Halloween; a rather apt greeting since you haven’t heard from me for so long. Rise, delinquent blogger, rise from your slumber. Rise from the grave and type again.

It’s been raining hard since last night, the perfect Halloween weather. My cat has been snuggling with me in bed the past few weeks—the chilly “winter” months in Batanes are coming in soon, which they say get colder than Baguio. In Egyptian lore, cats are said to be the guardians of the underworld, the servants of the goddess Isis, if I’m not mistaken. With my cat around, ghosts and ghouls become the least of my worries—actually, more practical, earthbound concerns come to mind, like:

a) how will my clothes dry in this wet season?
b) What hot meals can I place in my menu during cold days?
c) I’ve to replace the sand in the litter box, or my cat will make a mess inside the house…

Indeed, a lot of things have changed about how I view things, having stayed in Batanes for over two months. Months ago, I never would have thought I would ever spend a weekend tidying up the house, ironing clothes and experimenting with cooking (currently my favorite hobby), and enjoy these activities altogether. Maybe in this respect a freaky Halloween thought comes to mind: the sloppy college graduate who can’t even make his own bed was bodysnatched during the 2 months he was away, his soul replaced by a complete hausfrau.

Which is why I purposefully leave a couple of things untidy around the house: an unmade bed on Monday, a deskfull of unsorted clutter on Tuesday, the bathroom tiles unscrubbed on Wednesday; token reassurance that the old me hadn’t fully slipped away. (I know Cuads will sleep a little better because of this.)

With all the chores done and two free days indoors (it’s still raining outside) and my hands itching to write (to Gail: yes, I do miss writing after all), I’ll try to update you with the events spanning between my last post and now. Which accounts for a lot: Batanes sightseeing, my 22nd birthday spent away from home, the Arbeiterwohlfart German evaluation, the Inter-Local Health Zone study tour in Capiz (plus, the Boracay sojourn), seeing dear friends and a loved one in Manila, then a couple of fiestas here and there. Now, where to start? I recall an old philo term, abstractio, which means I will have to mince and dice this bulk of experience in digestible bite-sized pieces—not an easy task, but I hope to tell you as much as I can in a couple of posts during this long weekend.

The wind and rain is raging outside. The cat is on my lap, dozing. A music CD turns in the DVD drive of the laptop, and steam swirls from a hot cup of coffee. Time to write.

* * *

The most popular (and the most basic) FAQ when I get in touch with people is: what exactly do you do there anyway? If you had asked me this a few months ago, I’d probably quip: “Bakasyon,” in an effort to hide how clueless I was in this area. My officemates mention that I was extremely quiet during my first few weeks in Batanes; at the time, I was admittedly a Socrates (translation: walang alam) in my position as a Communication & Information Officer of HealthDev Institute. Imagine the irony: the communication & information officer who was clueless and didn’t talk much.

* * *

HealthDev Institute is a non-government organization focused with aiding poverty stricken groups, particularly the workers sector, by making quality health services accessible to them. For the Ateneans, you’ve probably seen our main office which is located in the CCS complex opposite the ISO. Feel free to drop by and ask about our NGO. This very office started out with outpatient services for labor groups (Ateneo employees too, if I’m not mistaken), charging socialized fees, of course. HealthDev celebrated it’s 15th anniversary last October 5, having grown through an expansion of projects funded by the German NGO, Arbeiterwohlfart (AWO), which translates to “Worker’s Welfare Association” (this was a tongue-twister for me during the first weeks, with the “w” read as “v”, to boot). One of the projects is a water sanitation system in Rizal, and the other is the social health insurance (SHI) project in Batanes. The SHI is the one I’m currently part of, and the feature presentation of this thread.

As a backgrounder, provincial health systems used to be organized under the national government, under the Department of Health. Back then everything used to be free; meaning if you got sick, your medical fees, from hospitalization, medicines and consultation fees were covered by the government. This all changed when the devolution in the set-up of health services occurred, with the coming of the Local Government Code of 1991, where, as our college PolSci units would remind us, the systems of governance will be localized under the LGUs, which also includes the health .

Under this set-up, LGUs with limited budgets can no longer provide completely free health services for its constituents. It devised a system of income classification where the A & B classes will be paying for most if not all of their health expenditures, while C, D and E will be aided by the LGUs, the percentage of coverage depending on the income and capability of the individual to pay for his own medical costs. To further help constituents shoulder these costs, a national health insurance program (NHIP) was also implemented through the Philippine Health Insurance Corporation (PhilHealth), with the goals of universal coverage (for the employed readers, you will notice that apart from taxes deducted from our salaries, employees like you and I are mandated by law to pay for PhilHealth policies ourselves). The principle of insurance is that you get a certain protection from unforeseen risks(it can be fire, car or life insurance, depending on what kind you get; in our case it is health insurance) by paying a certain premium to save up an emergency event. Your house burns down, you have fire insurance to rebuild your home. Nabangga ka, may pang ayos ka ng kotse. You get sick, you’ll have money for the hospital; this is what our Medicard does for us.

Even with these laws, many Filipinos still cannot afford health services. With the hot-air balloon of inflation, the cost of services and medicines are going up, and with the crisis, it’s obvious we don’t have much funds to go around the LGUs. Masalimuot pag-usapan to, dahil maraming aspeto ang pinanggagalingan ng suliranin; you have issues like overpopulation, imperialism, and not to mention a questionable system of governance to point fingers at. However, I did say I was going to go into this in abstractio so I will try to move into the subject matter(at this point I’ve been hearing a lot of yawns from what I expect to be a bored audience. I will have to apologize for the lengthy preamble to the topic of “what exactly does Mark do in Batanes” because a) I can’t explain what I do without getting into this; and b) I like explaining this, so sit through this lecture whether you like it or not hmph! In any case you can always scroll down and pretend you read it. Try to stay with me though. Don’t worry, we’ll get there soon.)

For another, despite its goal of universal coverage, PhilHealth covers only the formal sector—the formally employed. Because it uses employment as a means of implementation, it can’t reach the informal sector which are the self-employed workers, those with their own businesses, those who run stores and shops, the farmers and the fishermen, and the contractual or casual workers who rarely get health benefits in their compensation package. Furthermore, this informal sector who rely on seasonal harvests, catches and jobs have unstable incomes which cannot sustain the regular premiums (payments) of health insurance policies. In the province of Batanes, over 40% are in the informal sector. It is ironic that those in the more hazardous of occupations are the ones who are unprotected by health insurance.

This is where HealthDev comes in. Funded by AWO and in partnership with the Provincial Government of Batanes, a social health insurance project was launched in 2003, dubbed Kapanidungan sa Kalusugan, or KsK. KsK didn’t pop up out of nowhere, of course. Ordinances and Memorandums of Agreement had to be created between the LGUs and the health units to form a cooperation to be able to start an SHI program. The target market of this product, which is the informal sector, should be able to afford KsK premiums, hence the term ‘socialized’. Also, you’d have to imagine the resistance people will have towards the concept of paying for ones health when health services used to be given for free, much less, pay for health insurance. Eventually, in June 2003 though, KsK was launched and for the past 2 years, has enjoyed support from the local government and a stable membership of 1,500 households.

How does KsK work? In the event of a family member falling ill, a typical family would shell out P1,000-P3,000 for hospitalization. Which is why most of them seek cheaper, but less reliable sources of treatments. The chilling fact is that during the cold “winter” Batanes months, some children still die of cold.

Insurance uses the idea of risk pooling, which means members pool together contributions; whenever one of them gets sick, money will be available. This idea may seem like a difficult concept to introduce, but it isn’t so with Ivatan culture. They have what they call kapanidungan, which is the Batanes term for community solidarity, or our version of bayanihan. Activities like cogon roof thatching and setting(something I haven’t helped out in yet but look forward to experiencing), funerals and fishing in Batanes are events where the whole community participate and share in the work.

Members contribute an amount of P92 a month, or P1,080 a year, and get inpatient benefits of (pertains to hospitalization costs) P5,000 and outpatient benefits (dental, x-ray, consultation and medicines) of P500. In this way, they’re protected from unexpected out-of-pocket expenses brought about by illnesses.

* * *

Nyarky, heavy. I hope you’re still with me. I finally get to the meat of the meal: what exactly do I do here?

Answer: Wala. Bakasyon.

Joke lang. Read on, mehn.
* * *
HealthDev doesn’t run the KsK program; in fact, we’re just here to help set it up, and to ensure its sustainability through administrative, financial and operations monitoring, quality assurance, and marketing support and human resource training and capacitation.

KsK runs on its own, managed and run by the Provincial Health Office (PHO), which is situated in Agan Building, a ten-minute walk from my house in Diptan. Downstairs, we have the Provincial Health Clinic run by Dr. Nicolas, the Provincial Health Officer I in Batanes, and upstairs we have the KsK Office, which is shared by Healthdev Institute.

There are 5 of us in the Healthdev SHI Project Team:

Gary is Project Coordinator, who is my semblance of a boss here in Batanes. I say semblance since he’s hardly a boss to me. Off work we’re both tenors in the Dominican Youth Choir in the Basco Cathedral, and like me he lives alone in a house near the beach. He’s very passionate about work and rather OC around the office. Sometimes we discuss books (I borrow his when my own stock has run out), Tostoy’s work, or Kundera’s, or Ivatan cuture, though most of the time our conversations fall into an academic dissection of plots and character development of GMA-7’s Encantadia, something we’re both into. He’s the only other ipula or non-Ivatan in the project team besides me. He’s a UP Nursing grad, with credits in post-grad Community Building (something I think of getting into myself in the near future).

Rory is our Quality Assurance and Liaison Officer. She studies quality health systems and helps create measures to ensure that quality healthcare is being delivered in the provincial health units. After all, it isn’t enough that we are able to give Ivatan households access to healthcare through a socialized financing mechanism like KsK; it must be ensured that the services their getting are up to DOH standards. She’s a UPLB graduate and a mother of one hyperactive kid named Timon. I consider her a source of emotional support in the office (she complements Gary, who is more technical in nature), and quite a source of gossip as well. She and her husband Chico have a very interesting and practical methodology of bringing up Timon, which I try to pick up on, although marriage and kids isn’t something I plan to get into in the near future *shudder*. Bata pa ako…

There’s Jhona (yep, there’s an ‘H’ there) and Mao, both administrative assistants. Jhona handles financial disbursements and minutes of the meetings while Mao pretty much handles everything else: from repairs in the minicab to a killer encoding job (I’ll get to that later).

Mao is a father of two, and has a knack for entrepreneurship. He’s got a part time job with HealthDev, and millions of tiny businesses: raising pigs, roasting pigs, running a bakeshop (I’ve always wanted to sit in and learn a bit of baking myself, but never had the time) among many other things. I get practical information from him, easy recipes to cook, Ivatan terms (sometimes the profane ones, too), drinking tips, drinking songs and snatches of stories involving the shady side of Ivatan life.

And then there’s me. I’m the Communications and Information Officer of the HealthDev SHI Project, tasked with a chopsuey of a job, which falls into 3 categories:

a) Knowledge Management

Under this tab, I’m tasked with the design and editing of the KsK quarterly newsletter, the Kapanidungan, as well as the maintenance of the website (which I plan to renovate this November). Though I’m the last person any of my friends and family would consider to be OC and systematic (astrological sources say that Virgos are obsessively neat and orderly though) I had to assume that role when I tackled the office library, categorizing, alphabetizing, encoding it in a database and tabbing them with ID tags, since my job scope includes that, as well.

I’ve also given you a taste of my position as process documentor of the project—I have to capture the project methodologies of the SHI system and write them into a coherent thesis, so it can be replicated by other institutions. This requires me to understand the project workings as a whole and in their distinctive parts, or else magiging chopsuey ang isusulat ko. Which is where a skill of abstractio becomes rather useful.

b) Social Marketing Support

I work with the KsK Marketing Officer in this area, Auntie Fely. Together we conduct trainings to capacitate our partners, the Baranggay Health Workers (BHWs) in Marketing and Customer Sensitivity through our Rejuvenation Trainings. This, perhaps is the most exciting part of my job scope since it’ll squeeze your people skills out of you. You also have no idea what kind of things turn up during GD’s and games, which facilitate.

Every Friday, from 10-11am, Auntie Fel and I drive up to the Radyo ng Bayan Station (government owned, and the only station in Batanes you can pick up a coherent station from, unless you’re into Taiwanese, Korean, Australian, Japanese, or even German AM channels) up in the hills to run a radio show, the “KsK Hour”. I write the weekly script and run the controls (I swear I’d nearly collapsed during my first day out of nervousness), and arbitrarily play the songs I like during breaks in our discussions. Listeners are used to sappy (Bryan Adams) or novelty (the usual sexbomb deal) songs played over the radio, but during our show I try to bring them back to the classic Beatles and decent 90’s OPM, and here and there I try to insert a bit of Norah Jones and Alanis Morisette. Pretty soon, I’ll be able to soften their tastes up to tolerate my Cynthia Alexander, Sarah Mclachlan and Aimee Mann CDs, you’ll see.

c) Research
Probably my toughest work so far, since I had to learn Microsoft Access and my rudimentary database design to create an encoding system for our household surveys, which numbers to about 1500. We have to have a grasp of our membership demographic to come up with stats that can help us with our financial and marketing operations. At first it was tough, since I was locked into doing the work on my own (some nights found me sleeping in the office), but things became a bit better now that Mao has taken over. As of last Friday our total has reached 1,000 surveys (“Isanlibog!” he screams), which means we only have 500 to go. An actuarial firm is coming mid-November to assess our data and our encoding program, and we’ll see how our work in this area will measure up.

* * *

You can see I’m pretty happy where I am right now. I’ve found myself quite attached to the project and the people running it, and the people who are benefiting from it. I even dream about KsK, sometimes.

Two months in Batanes and running three. Not bad. There’s still more things to learn, people to meet, places to see, and stories to tell. Try to hang with me a bit more, and I’ll take you along for the ride.

Final Halloween thought: If this is the kind of experience you get when somebody snatches your body and brings you to a strange, faraway place, then try getting bodysnatched yourself. You’ll lose a bit of your old self, but gain much, much more.

(Even with a socialized fee, however, a lot of households still can’t afford their KsK insurance. As I’ve mentioned earlier, the income of the informal sector here isn’t very stable. If you guys are committed to sponsor a family or two, your help will be most welcome. With less than a hundred pesos a month, you can give a family a year’s worth of protection. Tell me if you’re interested and I’ll hook you up with KsK, or log on to the KsK website at http://committed.to/kapanidungan for more details)

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

Pista!

Batanes tip # 23: No need to cook on fiesta day, unless you are a host (because if you are, you will have to do a LOT of cooking).

Fiestas in Batanes can actually test the limits of your stomach. At the end of the day, I feel like Plato’s ideal stomach, the stomach that makes all stomachs stomachs, pure in its being, inert with the fullness of digestion. After Gary and Ed dropped me off at my house (at the end of the day Gary’s scooter was groaning under our gross weight), I slump into my hammock, counting stars, and enumerating Cuads-kun’s list of Apat Na Bagay Na Pinakamasasarap Gawin in my head (item #3 is eating free food, if I remember correctly), and basically trying to stay awake to avoid post-fiesta dangers of empacho and bangungot. A little later, I feel Ivana’s tail tickling my back through the hammock netting, and I pick her up, cradling her on my (THE) stomach. Sand falls from between the pads of her paws as she stretches; she must’ve gone to the beach for a walk.

Batanes tip # 61: Do not eat your fill in the first house you’re invited in, on fiesta day. Manage your appetite and stomach space for more invitations the rest of the day.

Brgy. Kayvaluganan celebrated the Virgin Mary’s birth today, ending the previous 9-day novena masses(SDC choir—the choir I sing tenor and play guitar for—sang in all nine) with feasting (and of course, drinking) in every house. People from neighboring baranggays and town flock to Kayvaluganan, becoming a nexus of festivities for a single day.

Whether you’re a stranger, a relative, acquaintance or friend, you’re welcome to enter a house, and of course, eat. A giant, thick-veined leaf serves as your plate, your passport to a plethora of dishes: yellow rice (with a tasty ginger flavor), rolled toast with maling, bell-pepper and cheese in its heart (breaded and deep-fried), genuine-fish fishballs (not the breadballs you have in the street), the staple pancit-and-spaghetti, patatim. Native dishes: banana stalk cores rolled into balls, dried gabi leaves called vunus, Ivatan-style adobo (no suka and toyo, but with lots of salt), dry steaks, a kind of dry (and seemingly bloodless) dinuguan. The meals end with doses of fruit salad, buko salad, ripe bananas hanging from the ceiling that should counter the heavy sensation you feel at the back of your neck when you’ve had too much cholesterol.

The conversations are as rich as the food themselves—of an 102 year-old man running and jumping because he imagined the house was on fire, of updates in the Gaza strip and the Israeli pullout, of vanishing heritage houses in Basco, of a sixth sense when a woman is pregnant, of the days when there were no planes and no electricity in Batanes where one had to travel in a coal-fired steamship for half a month to get to the mainland, where one had to light a stove under a refrigerator to heat up the freon.

Gary wasn’t kidding when he said that people here are obliged to eat. Mao, our officemate, sent us text messages laden with tampo, when we failed to show up at his house right away. We ate at two-hour intervals, which set me in hibernation mode most of the day. I was filled up to my esophagus in food.

Sandwiched between these meals was the highlight of my day: Gary had the team down for a meeting, and finally, after a weeks of theory and study, I was finally able to discuss my plans, which they seemed to like a lot. With goals laid down and deadlines set, and affirmation and support from the team, I finally feel I have secured a foothold in my job, at di na masyadong nangangapa. There is much work to do and soon, I’ll be putting all these plans to motion. Soon.

We all go home, dizzy with fullness. I haven’t cooked anything the entire day. Kahit bukas yata, hindi. See, fiestas and food here actually span three days—the Fiesta Eve (bisperas), then the actual day, then the next day, which the Ivatans call here as “balance” which I understand to be

a) a day to consume all the leftovers (believe me, marami yan)
b) or a third day thrown in for good measure

Either way, it works for me.